Movie Reviews By a Girl That Hates Movies

I am trying to write more frequently, so it it goes.

When I say that I hate movies, I don't mean all movies. I prefer television where I can waste my day away in half hour increments and better deal with my short attention span. Mostly what I hate is going to the movies. Where I pay 10 dollars to sit in some shitty room with a bunch of strangers unable to talk or smoke a cigarette.

That said today I went to see "The Kings Speech" with my mother today. I thought that it would enjoy it because of my love of period films. And it was good. Good in the sense that although I am by no means a film buff I can tell that it was well made. Every shot was perfect and the settings and clothing where unbelievably beautiful. The actors were great and I could tell that everything about this says good movie.

At the same time I didn't really like it. First of all Colin Firth just really bummed me out. From what I can remember about his acting career this is one of his first non-chick flicks. And he did a good job, breaking away from the "What a Girl Wants", "Bridget Jones's Diary" format. At the same time I couldn't help but think of how old he is looking. I didn't find him that attractive in that judge watching way where you know that you would still want to fuck them in person way, but still. He's starting to look like Nathan Lane for heavens sake. And as if that wasn't bad enough the whole fucking movie was about his problem with stuttering. And yes I knew that going in, but the way Colin Firth stutters looks like he is gagging. Its awful.

What I usually love about period movies are young women in awesome clothes making out with servants or whatever. There was none of this in "The Kings Speech." Instead there were tons of montages of him blubbering like an asshole trying to make some goddamn speech.  And it was like two hours long. Everything was so slow, I just wanted to press a button to make them talk faster. Its the kind of thing I wouldn't have minded renting, but sitting there sneaking a tuna fish sandwich wishing I could have a cigarette was almost too much to handle.

But it really was super pretty. I could have fucked that set.